The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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