When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
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I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
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Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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