This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
