have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
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I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
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She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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