i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
