he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
