i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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