why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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