Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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