Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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