There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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