Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
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someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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