I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize