On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
the raccoons are back...
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