I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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