So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
