No stitches, just platelets and will power
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
