You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
