It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
