It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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