go do what you do best...puke behind churches
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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