It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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