We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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