I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
