We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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