my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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