I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
