Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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