It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
