he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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