you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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