my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
