Dual....:-)
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
