when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
