you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
