After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
