i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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