This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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