You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well you can't waste a boner
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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