I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
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It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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