Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
