I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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