I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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