Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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