You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
