Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Randomize
