I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
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The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Boobs speak an international language.
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My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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