I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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