is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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