Three words: puerto rican gang bang
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
MIDGETS
????
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
