Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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