I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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